Normally I say a lot in this space. Detailing things in my head, songs, and how they all fit together. Usually I explain the story behind, or the 'point' to, the songs. A great big interlocking network of signs, notes, and symbols. The great big tangled rhizome that lives within my skull. Normally, in this box, I try to pull it out and say "hi, helloo this is me, my mind." But that impulse has faded. I still desire a state of understoodness (who doesn't) it's less an obsession now, less dire. So instead, reader, listener, friend, you can listen to these songs and think "huh what does that mean." Then, you can either ask me, or just let the meaning bloom from yerself. Though I will address one song.
In the last release-thing I put out (at the end of 2020), I said that it would be the last of its kind. The final collection of phone recordings. I was wrong. It seemed like it would be, it seemed like recording The Album was finally attainable. But I was wrong. I was wrong about many things back then. Grand declarations seldom pan out, and I'm trying to get away from them.
Everything here, excluding the 2nd to last track, was written during a songwriting workshop taught by Dave Benton of Trace Mountains fame. A majority of the ideas in these songs are rather old, and I'm so thankful Dave's prompts helped me pull them up outta my mental dustbin.
The last song, which is also the oldest, and the final song I wrote for the class. It was also going to be the last song I ever wrote. My relationship with Music had deteriorated and was bringing me nothing but pain. I had to cut my mentor out of my life, who, in retrospect, was responsible for programming my more debilitating artistic insecurities. The Dream had grown to big to sustain itself. Figured it would be better to stop dreaming, wake up, and start a new dream. The idea of writing a song about not writing songs anymore appealed to me. An epitaph! How fun and meta. But the enthusiastic response from my fellow workshoppers caused a sea change. To what? I don't know. I certainly like doing this, whatever this Thing is. It seems silly to just Stop.
While this isn't The End, it does feel like An End... Of something. But I'm trying to get away from grand declarations.... And I've already said a lot in this space.
Thank you, as ever, to everyone who has ever said "nice job!" or "I like that!"
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